Having to Wear a Body

Having to wear a body is something I enjoy and don’t enjoy. There are many things about having a body that is fantastic. Such as, the way certain things feel. However, this is the very thing that makes having a body unbearable sometimes.
Some of the wonderful things about having a body are the way things feel to it. For instance, I love sitting in the grass on a sunny day and feeling the sun’s warmth on my hair and head. I love the way warm water feels on my body. One of my favorite past times is taking a nice hot shower. I enjoy a warm cool breeze in the summer air. I like the way hot tea feels going down my throat and into my stomach on a cold day. I love the feel of velvet and silk against my body. I like the feel of fresh clean sheet on my bed. I like the way a horse’s nose or a hound dog’s ears feel. They are so soft and fuzzy. I love the tingle sensation I get in my lips after a sweet girl kisses me. I enjoy having my feet or neck rub. I like the sensation I get when riding over a hill too fast, swinging on a swing, riding on a roller coaster or snowboarding down a mountain.These are all things that my body loves to feel.
However, there are many things about having a body that doesn’t feel good. I don’t enjoy being hot and sweaty. I don’t like having backaches, stomachaches, headaches or any kind of aches. I do not like having a stiff neck or muscle tension. Sometimes when I am trying to sleep at night, I cannot get comfortable. My arms seem to get in the way. I sometimes wish I could just remove my arms and put them back on in the morning. I hate itching, sneezing, coughing and being sick.  I don’t enjoy going to the doctor or dentist and have them poke my body with needles or any of those other wonderful things they do. I cannot stand it when I stump my toe, jam my finger, step on a something sharp or break a bone. I don’t enjoy burning my tongue or mouth on something hot. I also do not like stepping into a bath when the water is scorching hot. These are just a few things I don’t like about having a body.
There are some things about having a body that I like and don’t like at the same time. For some strange reason, I feel this way about super gluing my fingers together. I am fascinated by it, until I realize I can not get it all off. I also like and dislike it when my skin peels after a sunburn. I like the way it feels as I peel it from me. I like to see how much I can peel before it breaks away. However, I do not like the discoloring of my skin afterwards or the sensitive my body feels from having a sunburn. Most of the time I find this extremely annoying and if I could redesign the human body I would try to get rid of this and that is going to the bathroom. It is so inconvenient. As much as I hate this, I do admitted sometimes when I had to hold my pee for a long time and I finally get to a bathroom, it feels so good. Ahhh!
There are so many things about having a body that is enjoyable but not so great, too. I believe there are more annoying things about having a body, but I would say it is better to have a body. Without a body, I wouldn’t exist and, therefore, there would be nothing in the world I could enjoy or not enjoy. So, I guess I will just have to live with the good and the bad of having a body.

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A Straight Full Turn (Dream)

I awoke to find myself in suspended animation climbing up a thick rope in the far deep space. I realized I was stricken with deafness. I shook my head fiercely and clapped my hands strongly trying to produce a sound, but no sound arose. I was stone-cold deaf. I felt my lungs blow up like balloons as I inhaled. I could taste the moisture in my mouth. I could feel my hot breath swirling around my helmet and my face. I kept climbing up the coil rope that went from my tiny, white, square spaceship into the stillness of eternal night. I saw no planets, suns, moons, or people–just myself, the rope, the spaceship and the blackness of space with little points of light millions of miles away. My little spaceship disappeared into the vacuum of space below as I climbed up further. There was no wind, movement, signal and no hope, just emptiness, The sullen silence smell like melting ice as it fades away kinda like a distant memory I can almost remember. I was the only thing alive in the universe. A terrible feeling of loneliness captured me like awakening from a coma to find myself paralyzed in my own grave. Suddenly, I saw something above me so I climbed faster. I realized somehow I went into a straight full circle. Above me now was my tiny, little, white, square spaceship. Then I awoke with a feeling of wonder and awe.

Dreams like this always get me thinking…what is real, what is experience? I was deaf in this dream, but does this count as a real experience of deafness. I feel like I really experience deafness. 

A Chance

I want to fly
I grab hold
of the railing
I step up
I look down
I see nothing
But Black water
Right below me
This is my chance
My chance to fly
I look up
The clouds turned gray
The rain starts to pour
the lighting strikes
the thunder loud-ens
I let go of the railing
I balance myself
I look ahead
I see nothing
I close my eyes
I still see nothing
I feel nothing
I hear nothing
For I am numb
I open my eyes
I take one step
I take another
I fail
is it too late
to not want to fly.